超好笑的英语笑话 带翻译

1. 超好笑的英语笑话 带翻译

A teacher was asking a student a lot of questions but the student couldn't answer any of them.The teacher then decided to ask him very easy questions so that he could get a few right. 
"Who was Beethoven?'"She asked. 
The student thought for some time and then answered,"A king". 
"No,he was a musician,"the teacher said.She was getting a little angry now,but she was trying not to show it. 
The she asked,"Who was the first president of the USA?" 
The student thought for a long time,but he didn't say anything.Then the teacher got very angry and shouted:"George Washington!"The student got up and begin to walk towards the door. 
"Come back!"the teacher said."i didn't tell you to go." 
"Oh,I'm sorry."the student said,"I thought you called the next student." 

一位老师在问她的一位学生很多问题,但这位学生一点儿也答不上.最后老师决定问他一点简单的,让他能答上几题. 
老师问:"谁是贝多芬?" 
那位学生想了一会儿,说:"一个国王." 
"不,他是一位音乐家."老师说.她已经有点生气了,但她竭力不让自己表现出来. 
然后她再问,"谁是美国的第一任总统?" 
那位学生想了很长时间,最后没能说出来.老师非常生气地大叫:"乔治.华盛顿!"学生站起来,想走出门口. 
"回来!"老师说,"我没让你走!" 
"哦,对不起."学生说,"我以为你叫下一个学生的名字."

2. 好笑的英语笑话带翻译

 好笑的英语笑话带翻译
                       　　笑话来源于生活，经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言。下面我马上为你带来几篇好笑的英语笑话带翻译，希望你会喜欢。更多笑话尽在笑话栏目。
    
        　　好笑的英语笑话带翻译(一) 
        　　A Wild Guess 
        　　大胆的猜想 
       　　Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery,he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The professor asked if anyone knew
       　　what that meant.
       　　我们的物理教授千方白计地引导学生讨论阿基米德的排水原理。他告诉我们，阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡，他进入池子，发现水涨高了，溢出池沿。他对这一发现十分激动，跑到街上高喊:"Eureka, eureka!”教授问我们谁知道他喊的是什么意思。
       　　One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked! I'm naked!"
       　　一个学生站起来答道:“我光屁股啦，我光屁股啦!”
        　　好笑的`英语笑话带翻译(二) 
        　　May We Have Our Teacher Back? 
        　　能让我们老师回去吗? 
       　　While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room. Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner.
       　　在访问一听乡村学校时，教育委员会主席因为隔壁房间里不守规矩的学生们发出的噪音而愤怒不已。他气愤地推开门，一把抓住一个身材较高的男生，他似乎说话最多。他拖着男生到另一个房间，并礼他他站在墙角。
       　　A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded, "Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?"
       　　几分钟后，一个小男孩探进头来，恳求道:“求求您，先生，能让我们的老师回去吗?”
        　　好笑的英语笑话带翻译(三) 
        　　A Woman's Answer 
        　　女人的回答 
       　　A husband said to his wife, "Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish'?"
       　　一位丈夫对妻子说：“为什么上帝把女人创造得如此美丽却又愚蠢呢?”
       　　"Well," his wife answered at once. "The reason is very simple. God made us beautiful so men would love us; God made us foolish so we would marry them."
       　　“噢，”他的妻子立刻回答道，“原因很简单。上帝使我们如此美丽，男人才会爱我们。上帝使我们如此愚蠢，我们才会嫁给他们。”
        　　好笑的英语笑话带翻译(四) 
        　　God Is Watching 
        　　上帝在看着 
       　　The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE.God is watching."
       　　学生们在食堂排队吃午餐。在桌子的一头有一大堆苹果，修女写了一张纸条，贴在苹果托盘上:“只能拿一个。上帝在看着你。”
       　　Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
       　　顺着午餐队伍往前走，在桌子的另一端有一大堆巧克力饼干。一个孩子写了一张纸条，“想要多少拿多少，上帝正看着苹果呢。”
        　　好笑的英语笑话带翻译(五) 
        　　Kid's Perspective 
        　　孩子的视角 
       　　On the way home from the first day of school, the father asked his son, "What did you do at school today'?"
       　　在上学第一天回家的路上，父亲问儿子，“你今天在学校做了什么?”
       　　The little boy shrugged his shoulders and said, "Nothing".
       　　小男孩耸耸肩说:“没什么。”
       　　Hoping to draw his son into conversation, the father persisted and said, "Well, did you learn about any numbers, study certain letters, or maybe a particular color?"
       　　为了把儿了引到谈话中来，父亲继续着话题，说道:“那么，你学习了任何数字、字母或者也许什么特定的颜色吗7”
       　　The perplexed child looked at his father and said, "Daddy, didn't you go to school when you were a little boy?"
       　　困惑的孩子看着父亲说:“爸爸，难道你是一个小男孩的时候没有上过学吗?”
        　　好笑的英语笑话带翻译(六) 
        　　God Is Missing 
        　　上帝失踪了 
       　　There were two brothers who were always up to some mischief. If somebody had been locked up in his house, or if somebody's dog had been painted green, one always knew who the culprits were-the brothers. One day the boys' mother asked a priest to talk to her sons and put the fear of God in them so that they would mend their ways. The priest asked her to send her sons to him one at a time. When the younger boy came, he made him sit and asked him: "Where is God?" The boy did not answer. The priest asked again, in a louder voice: "Where is God?" The boy remained silent. But when the priest asked the same question for a third time, the boy jumped up and ran away. He went straight to his brother. "We are in big trouble!" he gasped. "What's wrong'?" asked the older boy, warily, wondering which of their sins had caught up with them. "God is missing," said the youngster, "and they think we have something to do with it!"
       　　有两兄弟总是搞恶作剧。如果有人被锁在自己的房子里，或者谁家的狗被漆成了绿色，人们总知道谁是罪魁祸首—兄弟俩。一天，男孩的母亲请牧师和她的儿子们谈谈，让他们对上帝感到敬畏，以便他们能改善他们的行为。牧师叫她把两兄弟一个一个地送过来。年幼一些的孩子过来了，牧师让他坐下，问他:“上帝在哪里?”男孩没有回答。牧师又问，这次声音更大了:“上帝在哪里?”男孩仍然保持沉默。当牧师第三次问同样的问题时，男孩跳起来跑走了。他直奔向他的哥哥。“我们有大麻烦了!”他喘着气说。“你怎么了?”年长的男孩谨慎地问，想知道到底因为他们做的哪件坏事人们要逮捕他俩。“上帝不见了，”弟弟说，“他们认为这事和我们有关!”
            ;

3. 非常搞笑的英语笑话（带翻译）

4. 有没有经典的英语笑话，带翻译的

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: 
Marrying you has screwed up my life 
我的心肝，我的挚爱，我美丽的贤妻， 
我这辈子就毁在你手里。

2. I see your face when I am dreaming. 
That's why I always wake up screaming. 
你的容颜依稀入梦境， 
于是我在尖叫中惊醒。

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; 
This describes everything you are not. 
善良、聪慧、多情而性感， 
可惜这些你一条都不占。

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss, 
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed. 
爱是上天赐福，爱情多么美好， 
可我与你同眠只是因为喝高。

5. I thought that I could love no other 
-- that is until I met your brother. 
曾以为一生只爱你一个 
直到遇见你的二表哥。

5. 英语笑话带翻译很好笑的

A bunch of great, DEAD scientists were playing hide-and-seek in heaven. When it's Einstein's turn to be the seeker, he counted untill 100 and opened his eyes. All the others were hide, but only Newton were still standing there.
一群伟大的科学家去世后在天堂里玩藏猫猫。轮到爱因斯坦抓人，他数到100睁开眼睛，看到所有的人都藏起来了，只有牛顿还站在那里。

6. 经典有趣的英文笑话带翻译？

　　英语笑话能反映出一个民族的价值系统及其对周围世界肯定和否定的态度。我整理了，欢迎阅读! 
   　　：Goes to the cinema  
  　　A boy goes to the cinema. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he es out. He buys a second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he es out again and buys a third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he es out a third time and asks for another ticket. The ticket seller says to him, "Why are you buying all these? Are you meeting friends in the cinema all the time?" "No, I;m not doing that." The *** all man says, "But a big woman always stops me at the door and tears my tickets up." 
   　　：Johnny is busy now  
  　　It was half-past eight in the morning. The telephone rang and Mary went to answer it. 
 
  　　'Hello, who's that?' she asked. 
 
  
 
  　　'It's me--Peter.' 
 
  　　Peter was a friend of Mary's eight-year-old brother, Johnny. 
 
  　　'Oh, hello, Peter. What do you want?' said Mary. 
 
  　　'Can I speak to Johnny?' 
 
  　　'No,' said Mary, 'you can't speak to him now. He is busy. He is getting ready for school. He is eating his breakfast. Grandmother is bing his hair. Sister is under the table, putting his shoes on. Mother is getting his books and putting them in his school bag. Goodbye, I'vegot to go now. I have to hold the door open. The school bus is ing.' 
   　　：The result of laziness  
  　　懒惰的结果 
 
  　　Mother: Why were you kept after school today, Johnny? Johnny: Teacher told us to write an essay on "The Result of Laziness", and I turned in a blank sheet of paper. 妈妈：约翰尼，你今天放学以后为什么被留下了? 约翰尼：老师叫我们写一篇题为《懒惰的结果》的作文，我交了一张白卷。 
   　　：Is ink so expensive  
  　　墨水很贵吗 
 
  　　Son: Is ink so very expensive, father? Father: Why, son, what makes you think so? Son: W...well. Mother seems quite disturbed because I spilled some on the carpet. 儿子：爸爸，墨水很贵吗? 父亲：不贵呀，你为什么这么想? 儿子：哦，我把墨水洒了一点在地毯上，妈妈好象挺着急的。 
   　　：A school report  
  　　学校成绩单 
 
  　　The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful***愤怒的*** as he read, 
 
  　　"English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad***少年，小伙子***. 
 
  　　"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And hepointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent." 
 
  　　父亲在看他那满怀希望的儿子带回来的学校成绩单。他边看边露出愤怒的表情： 
 
  　　“英语，差;法语，差;数学，中。”他厌恶地瞥了在发抖的儿子一眼。 
 
  　　“爸爸，”儿子说，“可能成绩不够理想。但您看到那一项了吗?”他指了指下一行：“健康状况，优。” 
  　　

7. 最搞笑的英语笑话带翻译

 最搞笑的英语笑话（带翻译）
                       　　We share everything 我们分享一切
    
       　　An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries.
       　　A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.
       　　"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."
       　　A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite.
       　　"I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.
       　　"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."
       　　Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"
       　　The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"      
       　　一对老夫妇在汉堡王餐厅吃饭，他们小心翼翼地将汉堡和薯条分成两份。
       　　一个卡车司机非常同情他们，就提议想给老太太单独点一份。
       　　“没关系的。”老先生说，“我们分享一切。”
       　　几分钟后，卡车司机注意到老太太还没动口吃一点东西。
       　　他再次对老先生说，“我真的`不介意请您妻子吃一顿……”
       　　“她会吃的，”老先生向他保证，“我们分享一切。”
       　　司机不太相信，恳求老太太，“你为什么不吃一点?”
       　　老太太咂咂嘴，“我在等他的假牙。”
    ;

8. 经典英语笑话 带翻译

the lowest grade

\"Professor, I did the best I could on this test. I really don\'t think I deserve a zero.\"
\"Neither do I. But that\'s the lowest grade I\'m allowed to give.\"

最低分

学生：“教授先生，我这次考试已经竭尽全力了。我真的觉得我不应该得零蛋。”
老师：“我也是。但是这已经是我能给的最低分了！” 

Real Play

When I taught the introduction-to-theater course at North Dakota State University, I required my students to attend the university theater\'s current production and write a critique. After viewing a particularly fine performance, one student wrote: \"The play was so real, I thought I was actually sitting on my couch at home, watching it on television.\"

逼真的戏剧

我在北达科他州立大学教戏剧入门课时，要求学生们去看学校剧团当时的演出，并写一篇评论。看了一场极为精彩的演出后，一名学生写道：“这部戏剧是如此逼真，以致于我认为我自己是坐在家里的沙发上，从电视上看到的。” 

the chemical formula for water

Teacher: What the chemical formula for water is the ?
Blonde: \"HIJKLMNO\"!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Blonde: Yesterday you said its H to O!

水的分子式
老师：水的分子式是什么？
花瓶：HIJKLMNO！！
老师：你在说什么？
花瓶：昨天你不是说H to O吗？ 
a sheep and a dog
In the evening, a sheep on the hillside to play alone, suddenly from the trees of a wolf jumped out, wanted to eat the sheep, the sheep jumped up, struggled with angular resistance, and began to my friends for help.
Cattle in the bushes to this place look, discovery is a wolf, run away;
The horse looked down, discovery is the wolf, swiftly running;
The donkey stopped, discovery is the wolf, slipped down the hill; the pig through here, discovery is the wolf, rushing down a slope;
Bunny listens, is more like an arrow.
Under the mountain sheep dog heard shouts, rushed up to, from the grass on the wolf came, the neck, the wolf cry out with pain, while the dog was ventilation, and fled.
Later, back home, the friend to all,
The cow said: why didn't you tell me? My angle can pluck the wolf.
Ma said: why didn't you tell me? My hoof to kick a wolf's head.
The donkey said: why didn't you tell me? I'm a roar, scare the wolf.
The pig says: why didn't you tell me? I use my mouth a arch, let it fall down the hill.
The rabbit said: why didn't you tell me? I run fast, can be rumors.
In the noisy crowd, but no dogs.

一只羊与一只狗敌过狼
傍晚，一只羊独自在山坡上玩，突然从树木中窜出一只狼来，要吃羊，羊跳起来，拼命用角抵抗，并大声想朋友们求救。
牛在树丛中向这个地方望了一眼，发现是一只狼，跑走了；
马低头一看，发现是狼，一溜烟跑了；
驴停下脚步，发现是狼，悄悄溜下山坡；猪经过这里，发现是狼，冲下山坡；
兔子一听，更是像箭一般离去。
山下的狗听见羊的呼喊声，急忙奔上坡来，从草丛中闪出，咬住了狼的脖子，狼疼得直叫唤，趁狗换气时，怆惶逃走了。
后来回到家，朋友都来了，
牛说：你怎么不告诉我？我的角可剜出狼的肠子。
马说：你怎么不告诉我？我的蹄子能踢碎狼的脑袋。
驴说：你怎么不告诉我？我一声吼叫，吓破狼的胆。
猪说：你怎么不告诉我？我用嘴一拱，就让它摔下山去。
兔子说：你怎么不告诉我？我跑得快，可以传言呀。
在这闹闹嚷嚷的一群中，唯独没有狗。